Disruptions

My journaling ended so abruptly yesterday. I was interrupted in the middle of it by a strange man at Common Grounds. I didn’t know him from Adam and honestly I kept hoping he was going to eventually ask me for money and let me get back to work. He never asked for money.

Instead he sat and talked to me for two hours. He claims God speaks to him audibly and frequently. I’m okay with this idea, but then he went farther. He told me about his angel friend he hangs out with. He is 7 foot tall, 4 foot wide, and has long blond curly hair. The angel Michael also hangs out with him pretty frequently – supposedly because he has such an interesting life.

He believed himself a prophet and shared with me what God had to say about my life. Apparently God is thus far pleased with me. He also is calling me to be a full time missionary and I will be leaving for the field within three months. Of course this isn’t very possible considering it would require me quitting school and chaplain work about a month before finishing. He went back to God at which point God told him I would actually finish school early somehow.

I didn’t argue or ask many questions because honestly I just wanted to be left alone. Today I was reading Blue Like Jazz. In it there is a story of a young lady coming to Christ. Her friend Naomi was a valuable tool to that position because she “talked about God as if she had talked to him on the phone that day.”

I was a little weirded out by my CG friend, but I was insanely jealous of the girl in the book. I desire to know God that way. I recognize the problem isn’t God but me. I must be willing to listen to God and sacrifice my own desires to sit in his presence.

I feel bad about the guy in CG. I barely listened and sure didn’t enjoy the conversation. In know way did I show him the love of Christ in my life. Was God giving me an opportunity to prove my willingness to lay down my own tasks and listen to the heart of another? I hope not, because I failed…miserably.

I recognize I have been trying to answer all of my own questions for my life. I want to “decide” the best time to go to Africa. I want to plan out the stuff with the girl. When will I have enough faith to take these things to God?

I unfortunately believe the mistake my pastor is making. He is talking about rebooting out life to connect with God. The problem with the illustration is you only begin to fix computers when something is broken. I can’t wait until my life falls apart to give it to God. I have to recognize the brokenness that currently exists and give my life to God now.

I’m done writing, I have actually said nothing, and I feel better. That’s kinda weird.