"The Good Ole Days" or Were They?

I got a phone call from a high school friend last night. She is actually an exgirlfriend too. I talk to her about once every several months. She calls or emails and we can never get a hold of one another. Then we finally catch each other and have a long conversation about nothing. Usually it ends up back on the conversation of high school.


It is interesting that I really have no continued relationship from high school. I see a few people when I go home but very few. College is not really much different. But my life at Truett looks a lot different. I feel like I have made my life about the community that I am in. In high school and college I knew a lot of people maybe even had a lot of friends. But my primary relationships were with girlfriends.


Since being here I have stepped out of that world a bit and it has allowed me the chance to build some solid friendships that I hope to carry with me for life.


I always love talking about my high school days. It reminds me how much of an idiot I was and encourages me to at least do new idiotic things rather than the same ones I have always done.


Last night my friend asked me if I regretted anything from college. At first I said no and then I changed my mind. I told her I probably should have never dated some of the people I did, never made out with others I did not even date, and I would have been braver. I really would have gone skinny dippin' at camp when we talked about it. I really would have kissed that hostess in Louisville (long story). I would have played more, worried less, and loved harder.


Sometimes I let my life here drift back to the old days. I let worrying push out my play. My life becomes miserable when I live life that way again.


I've lost all of my friends from high school. Most of them I ran off by dating their friends or making out with a friend and never telling anyone (they found out most of them later any way). Others I have lost by just not putting forth any effort to stay in touch. The sad part is I don't really regret those losses. If I had spent all of my time after college maintaining those relationships from the past I would never have built the ones I have today.


I will take today's and forget about the past.


PS - I never actually go back and reread these things. I am sensing after finishing this entry that I sound like a real jerk. I guess there are some things you just can’t hide.