#4...

[Listening to: Only Wanna Be With You - Hootie & The Blowfish - The Best Of Hootie & The Blowfish (1993 Thru 2003)]

He wore brown denim pants and an ugly dress shirt with big paisleys on it. He had a pair of brown nubuc Eastland's on. I remember the shoes well. Not because they were the cool dress shoes to have when I was a freshmen (although they were), but because we were in the gym playing volleyball.


For some reason I can't recall, finals for the fall were happening in January. With high enough grades and attendance some students didn't have to take finals. Several of us were in that group. Instead we would spend the day in the gym playing cards, talking, playing volleyball, playing basketball, etc.


We were in the bleachers on the left side of the stage. Volleyball games were going on right in front of us. We decided to play and he borrowed Jason's tennis shoes. It was a cold Friday afternoon.


That is my last memory of Shane.


Monday morning it snowed. I woke up early and remember that it is even brighter outside before the sun comes when there is snow on the ground. I walked from my bedroom down the hardwood floor through the kitchen and into the den. I sat down in Dad's recliner and turned on NBC. I watched for the local weather report. I "knew" we weren't going to school. (In Paducah they cancel school if the chances of snow are great.) I was right. School was canceled. I quickly returned to bed.


Several hours later my mom came in and woke me up. "What are you doing, school is canceled," I commented. Once I could force my eyes open (the glaring sun off the snow made my room brighter than normal) I looked up at my mom. Something was wrong; I could see it on her face.


"What happened?"


"Jon's mom just called. Shane Pearson died last night."


"What happened? Why Shane?"


Shane called his girlfriend Tonya before leaving work. He told her he would call her when he got home. He never called. He never made it home. They searched for him throughout the night and finally found him. Shane had been shot and bled to death in a snow covered front yard.


A few days later they found the shooters. According to their story they stopped Shane on the highway as he was headed home. Knowing Shane he would have helped anyone. He likely stopped thinking they needed help. Instead, having been encouraged by a movie the three young men had decided to drive around town and see how many people they could shoot before getting caught. Shane was number two.


They drove him around in his own car. After a few hours they let him out of the car and he began to walk toward a light in the distance. They called him back. He turned to look at them and they shot, again, and again, and again.


Shane and I weren't close friends. We were teammates. I respected Shane. He was number four. For the rest of our careers we retired that number. I never desire to wear number 4. That's Shane's number. He was the lone upperclassman who was good to us little guys. I remember that every year Shane was the only one who showed up to the first practice in shape. He would run laps around us at the track. He punted a ball once and completely unintentionally nailed Nick in the face. You could tell he felt terrible. Nick was pissed. The rest of us laughed.


Shane loved people. I remember talking with the Hudson twins after he died. None of us knew if Shane was a Christian. Back then I was a leader in my church and my FCA. People knew I was a Christian, but probably thought of me more as a goody, goody. I didn't go out, didn't hang out with friends. I went to church and hung out with my family.


Yet I had spent everyday with Shane for several months a year. I was supposed to be a Christian and everyone knew it. Why did I have no idea if Shane knew Christ? Why had I never shared it? Sure I mean some step-by-step plan or tract. But more importantly why had I never shared it with my life? Whether or not Shane knew Christ, I could take no credit for fulfilling what I was called to do.


This reality has bothered me all of my life. Most of my life I have probably cause more people to run from Christ than follow him. I have grown fascinated recently with the way the secular world describes and illustrates Christians. As a kid I always claimed they just didn't know what they were talking about. Now that I am older and willing to look more critically at my self and my faith, I realize they should be able to describe my faith as well as I can. They should see it. Daily, these peers, strangers, and friends should be watching Christ live life in front of them. Sure this time his name is Chad and he has a lot more flaws.


Soon I will leave the states to live Christ before others. I wonder if it will be easier on the other side of the world. I wonder if I will ever figure out how to do it in a way that result in the words all Christians long to hear - "Well done my good and faithful servant."

[Listening to: Away From The Sun - 3 Doors Down - Away From The Sun]